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Post by DAMNIT on Mar 4, 2009 21:13:06 GMT -5
Can u think up of any? be creative ;D (or steal from other people) Also, point out the ones you like  |
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Post by Destratharian on Mar 4, 2009 21:19:25 GMT -5
[A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk." Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go." Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled." ] I stole that from good jokes. |
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Post by DAMNIT on Mar 4, 2009 21:26:30 GMT -5
That's not a chuck norris joke lol. Ill start by making one (or taking someone else's idea... lol)
Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands. When he left, it was just the islands.
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Post by Prototype on Mar 4, 2009 21:37:58 GMT -5
all the ones i post are not mine.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.
Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
Playgirl magazine once asked Chuck Norris to appear naked in an issue, Chuck laughed at the opporunity saying “there isn’t enough paper in the world to contain my bearded member”. He then killed the editors simply by unzipping his pants.
On June 7th 1994, Chuck Norris entered the same restaurant supermodel Cindy Crawford was eating at. Instinctively, Cindy swept everything off the table, threw herself on it in a fit of lust, and begged Chuck to ravish her. After Chuck finished his beer, he obliged her. When Chuck's magnificent lead sperm cannoned into Cindy's womb it went straight to one of her ovaries and roared, "Which one of you servile wenches thinks you can handle getting split
open by the Chuck!?" All of the eggs cowered in the corner. The same thing happened at the other ovary. "I didn't f**king think so!" shouted the lead sperm which then lead the rest of the troops back into Chuck's balls. Chuck pulled out; roundhouse kicked Cindy in the face and told her, "Don't ever waste my time again."
Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.
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Post by DAMNIT on Mar 4, 2009 21:44:27 GMT -5
Lol some of these are pretty funny.
A bit more:
Chuck Norris spelled backwards is Chuck Norris
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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Post by Dragon Yoshi on Mar 4, 2009 21:48:18 GMT -5
Chuck Norris can devide by Zero
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Post by DAMNIT on Mar 4, 2009 21:52:51 GMT -5
If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
When Chuck Norris goes into the water he dosn't get wet the water gets Chuck Norrised.
When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down
Chuck Norris turns on a night light when he goes to bed. It's not because he's scared of the dark - it's Because the dark is scared of him.
When Chuck Norris stands in front of a mirror, it breaks because the mirror is smart enough to not get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
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Post by Prototype on Mar 4, 2009 21:55:20 GMT -5
Chuck Norris masturbates only to pictures of Chuck Norris
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Post by Prototype on Mar 4, 2009 21:55:54 GMT -5
that is gross "blek" (makes gross out face)
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Post by DAMNIT on Mar 4, 2009 21:58:27 GMT -5
lol nice one  When someone tries to masturbate over a picture of Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris's picture roundhouses that person in the face. |
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Post by Ezio on Mar 12, 2009 22:43:28 GMT -5
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Post by Underrated on Mar 13, 2009 12:12:48 GMT -5
Those are all funny jokes. I can't think of any lol  . |
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Post by Ezio on Mar 13, 2009 14:42:19 GMT -5
search "Find Chuck Norris" on google and then hit i am feeling lucky
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Post by Underrated on Mar 13, 2009 15:26:27 GMT -5
Superman wears Chuck Norris underpants lol.
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Post by Ezio on Mar 13, 2009 15:29:21 GMT -5
wow did u do it?
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Post by Underrated on Mar 13, 2009 15:44:08 GMT -5
Yeah I looked at the first one and I just typed that in.
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Post by Ezio on Mar 13, 2009 15:45:04 GMT -5
cool wht did u think of wht happened?
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Post by Underrated on Mar 13, 2009 15:45:27 GMT -5
What do you mean?
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Post by Ezio on Mar 13, 2009 15:46:22 GMT -5
as i said above type :find Chuck Norris" on google and hit feeling lucky. c wht happens
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Post by Underrated on Mar 13, 2009 15:47:11 GMT -5
It led to a site with Chuck Norris jokes...
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